What exactly is a brat in terms of BDSM and dominant/submissive? A brat is usually a submissive who wants to play dominant and needs to be forced into submission. That may sound paradoxical but it is not. Just like in other forms of role-play, there is always consent. The submissive can say “yes, I will do that” or “no, you can’t.”
Some people use the word “brat” as a term of endearment. They think it is a cute nickname for their BDSM partner. But in fact, a brat can also mean stubborn, nasty, bossy, etc. It’s all relative. So, it’s not just a cute nickname.
A brat in BDSM is usually a dominating partner who puts on a show for his “pleasure.” In turn, his “pleasure” is really the satisfaction he gets out of controlling and domination. A brat in a BDSM relationship is someone who does not take any pleasure from his partner’s enjoyment but derives pleasure from controlling and using his partner. A true baser is one who enjoys himself in a power position and using his position of power to serve his purpose and desires.
Some role-play gurus describe a brat as a cunning, manipulative, borderline sadist. He can be charming, arrogant, flamboyant, and funny, but his main function in a relationship with his owner/master is to serve as a utility male. He is there to do the job. He is the one who does the cleaning, cooking, laundry, buying food, picking up the children, driving the car, shopping for the groceries, and so on. He may not be the one who raises the children, makes the meals, or does the homework, but he is there, doing the job!
When you play this role-play type of game, you are always looking for opportunities to dominate and get what you want from your BDSM partner. (It’s okay if you don’t want to!) When you play this role-play type of game, you are really looking to see what will drive you and your partner wild. The more you play this role-play game, the more driven you become. It’s like the more you indulge yourself in a power play, the more you want it, the more you want to dominate.
One of the most common complaints women have about their BDSM partners is that they always complain that they’re too “nice,” “too nice,” or too gentle. This is because a brat is someone who is very angry and frustrated, and he wants to let loose so he can vent. If you play the role-play game in a negative way, that makes you a brat.
You can change your attitude any time you want; you don’t have to act this way all the time. The key is to know when to switch roles and switch with a good grace and to do so in a way that keeps the relationship alive and hot. A woman playing a dom doesn’t want to have to deal with someone who is a pain in the butt all the time, so she will switch to a role-play person if the need arises.
So what is a brat in BDSM is a part of what every woman enjoys when they play! You can take it to the extreme end and act like a brat all the time, but that’s just not for everyone. For many women, playing the role-play character of a dog has been a great source of enjoyment. When the time arises, when you are no longer dominate, or when your act no longer makes you feel sexy, then you can step into the role-play role again, and she will love you for it.